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OGURA HYAKUNIN ISSHU — POEM No. 89 of 100

Tama no O yo

“O Thread of My Life” — Princess ShikishiSource: Shin Kokinshū, Love I · 1034
玉の緒よ 絶えなば絶えね ながらへば
忍ぶることの 弱りもぞする
Tama no o yo taenaba taene nagaraeba
shinoburu koto no yowari mo zo suru
O thread of my life, if you must break, then break now —
for if I live on, my strength to hide this love will fail.
Tama no O yo jacket art

Music Video

ミュージックビデオ
MUSIC VIDEO — COMING SOON

The Story

歌のものがたり
Princess Shikishi, daughter of Emperor Go-Shirakawa, spent her girlhood as sacred priestess of the Kamo Shrine — a role in which love itself was forbidden — and lived unmarried through an age of war. Her poem commands her own life to snap like a thread, because if she lives on, her strength to conceal her love will give way first: a love song that stakes everything not on confession but on perfect concealment. It is perhaps the most compressed cry in the Hyakunin Isshu, and our song lets that held-in pressure finally sound.

Lyrics

歌詞
Japanese

玉の緒よ(式子内親王・百人一首89番)/Garu JP

名前を書いて すぐ消すノート

呼びかけたくて 飲み込んだ声

すれ違うたびに うつむくくせに

夢の中でだけ 隣にいる

言えない気持ちが 胸の中で

糸みたいに 張りつめていく

玉の緒よ 絶えなば絶えね

ながらへば 忍ぶることの 弱りもぞする

あふれてしまう くらいなら

いっそ命よ 切れてしまえと

声にならない 声で叫ぶ

日記にさえも 書けない名前

書いてしまえば 本当になるから

友達の前で 泣きそうになって

なんでもないよと 笑ってみせた

こぼれないように こぼれないように

心に鍵を かけなおす

玉の緒よ 絶えなば絶えね

ながらへば 忍ぶることの 弱りもぞする

気づかれるくらいなら いっそ

この命が 先に消えてと

願う夜を 重ねている

神に仕えた 皇女は

人に恋しては いけない定め

それでも胸に 灯った想いを

祈るかたちで 燃やし続けた

玉の緒よ 絶えなば絶えね ながらへば

忍ぶることの 弱りもぞする

玉の緒よ 絶えなば絶えね

それでも糸は 切れないで

明日も言えない ままだとしても

あなたのいる 世界にいたい

誰も知らない この恋を

抱きしめたまま 生きていく

忍ぶることの…… 弱りもぞする……

玉の緒よ 絶えなば絶えね

ながらへば 忍ぶることの 弱りもぞする

切れないまま 朝が来ても

言えないままで 生きてゆく

この恋が 私のいのち

この恋が…… 私のいのち……

English

A notebook where I write the name, then erase it

A voice I wanted to call out, and swallowed

Though I look down every time we pass

Only in dreams are you beside me

The feelings I can't speak

Stretch tight inside me like a thread

O thread of my life, if you would break, then break

If I live on, my hiding will surely weaken

Rather than let it overflow

Better this life snap first —

I scream in a voice that makes no sound

A name I can't write even in my diary

Because written down, it would become real

Nearly crying in front of my friends

I laughed and said it was nothing

So it won't spill over, won't spill over

I lock my heart again

O thread of my life, if you would break, then break

If I live on, my hiding will surely weaken

Rather than be found out

Let this life vanish first —

Night after night, I make that wish

The princess who served the gods

Was fated never to love a man

And yet the flame that lit her heart

She kept burning in the shape of prayer

O thread of my life, if you would break, then break — for if I live on

My hiding will surely weaken

O thread of my life, if you would break, then break

And yet, thread, do not break

Even if tomorrow I still can't speak

I want to stay in the world where you are

This love that nobody knows

I'll go on living, holding it close

My hiding... will surely weaken...

O thread of my life, if you would break, then break

If I live on, my hiding will surely weaken

Unbroken, even when morning comes

I'll live on with it left unsaid

This love is my life itself

This love... is my life itself...

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