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OGURA HYAKUNIN ISSHU — POEM No. 63 of 100

Ima wa Tada

“If Only I Could Tell You Myself” — Fujiwara no MichimasaSource: Goshūishū, Love III · 750
今はただ 思ひ絶えなむ とばかりを
人づてならで いふよしもがな
Ima wa tada omoitaenan to bakari o
hitozute narade iu yoshi mogana
Only this now: 'I will give you up' —
if there were just some way to say it to you myself, not through others.
Ima wa Tada jacket art

Music Video

ミュージックビデオ

The Story

歌のものがたり
Fujiwara no Michimasa loved Princess Masako, a former Ise Shrine priestess, and when the retired emperor discovered the affair, guards were posted to keep them apart forever. This poem is his farewell, smuggled past the watchmen: he asks for nothing but the chance to say goodbye in person — one final meeting whose only purpose would be to end everything. The wish is impossibly modest and impossibly large at once, which is exactly what makes it unbearable.

Lyrics

歌詞
Japanese

今はただ(後拾遺集/左京大夫道雅・百人一首63番)Garu JP

Verse 1

友達づてに 聞いたんだ

「あの人 元気そうだよ」って

知りたいことは そうじゃなくて

でも頷いて 笑ってた

Pre-Chorus

送れないまま 消した言葉

下書きばかりが 積もっていく

Chorus

今はただ 想いを絶つよ

それだけを それだけをただ

人づてじゃなく 君に言いたい

最後くらい この口で

「さよなら」を 言わせてほしい

Verse 2

最後に会った あの日の君は

何も知らずに 手を振ってた

「またね」って言った その声だけが

耳の奥で まだ鳴ってる

Pre-Chorus 2

責めたいわけじゃ ないんだよ

ただ終わらせ方が 見つからない

Chorus 2

今はただ 想いを絶つよ

決めたのに 決めたのにまだ

人づてに聞く 君の近況に

心が まだ揺れてる

「さよなら」が 言えないままで

Bridge

遥か昔 髪をおろして

恋を手放した 人がいた

言えない「さよなら」を 胸に抱いて

それでも 生きていった

Drop

今はただ 思ひ絶えなん とばかりを

人づてならで 言ふよしもがな

Final Chorus

今はただ この歌にのせて

言わせてよ 最初で最後

人づてじゃなく 自分の言葉で

ありがとう そして さよなら

長い夜が 明けていくよ

Outro

人づてならで……

言ふよしもがな

English

Ima wa Tada (Goshui Wakashu / Hyakunin Isshu No.63) Garu JP

I heard it through a friend

"He seems to be doing fine"

But that's not what I wanted to know

Still I nodded, and I smiled

Words I erased without ever sending

Only unsent drafts keep piling up

Now, at last, I will let this love go

That alone — that alone, just that

Not through others, I want to tell you

At least at the very end, with my own lips

Let me say "goodbye"

The day I saw you for the last time

You waved your hand, knowing nothing

That voice that said "see you later"

Still rings deep inside my ears

It's not that I want to blame you

I just can't find a way to end this

Now, at last, I will let this love go

I decided — I decided, and yet

News of you that reaches me through others

Still makes my heart waver

With "goodbye" left unsaid

Long, long ago, a woman cut her hair

And let go of the love she held

Holding an unspoken "goodbye" in her heart

And still, she lived on

"Now I shall end this love" — those words alone

If only I could tell you myself, not through another

Now, at last, riding on this song

Let me say it — the first time and the last

Not through others, but in my own words

Thank you — and then, goodbye

The long night is breaking into dawn

Not through another...

If only I could tell you

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